You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
