Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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