Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
