Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
