i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
