Sry I called you an 8
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
