You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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