your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
