I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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