Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
