I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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