I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i've created a new STD.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
