Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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