I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
