I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's just like the Real World with babies
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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