Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
