Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
