Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
