There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We are all done wearing pants today
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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