you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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