You made me cry and you don't even care
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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