"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
