i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
