he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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