it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
