I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
