AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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