The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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