so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
