I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Houston, we have a blender
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
