Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
