p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My ass is underappreciated
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
