What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
