do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
