i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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