Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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