Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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