The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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