I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
