I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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