Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
