I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
