How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
