How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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