I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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