Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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