one two three fourrrrnication!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
