when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So apparently I’m into choking now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize