Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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