he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
