I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
