i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize