he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment