Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.