No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just found puke in my bra..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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