You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
