I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
