Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
