I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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