Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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