Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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