Welp...herpes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
