Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
