Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
