Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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