he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize